Sunday, June 7, 2015

My Best Friend is Now My Enemy

Am i wrong??!!??

 we all know are best friends dirty laundry right? how many guys they've slept with, Who they're cheating on their man with, what girl they hate and so on. None of that stuff gets to you until it gets to close to home.

 I set boundaries fast, I'm the only girl out of a house hold of brothers and male cousins. I let her now how much my family means to me and i separate my friends when it comes to them. Meaning stay away from my family. So this girl would smile in my face and do exactly that. She slept her way thru my family tree. first my cousins then my brothers when i found out she was sleeping with my brother and my cousin she swore up and down that it was a one time thing. it would never happen again.  But they would always sneak off. she became this right of passage the girl they all slept with. I lost all respect for this girl.

 so it was hard to hang with her she started to act funny. she told my friends i was gay and let another girl move in so we could be together! when in reality it was one of her friends that got kicked out of her home and i was being a friend. More lies kept going thru this small circle and  things finally came to a head. Her and the girl i let stay with me came to my house like they were just gonna beat my ass lol. Funny but those are my best friends since first grade. 

We didn't speak for a year after that. But being human i did get lonely so we started to be friendly again.  but that only lasted a few months, With her came more drama. she started in-boxing my older bother who is married man. My sister in law flew of the handle. again she denies everything even the printed conversations. She always manages to make herself the victim. It was strange how all of a sudden are friendship meant everything to her and she started coming over everyday always complementing and being overly nice even bringing gifts and sweet talking my parents.
  I have a baby brother that used to be my world he was like my baby growing up i'm so over protective when it comes to him so when she had her sights on him i freaked the fuck out no lie. 
As soon as she got a holed of him he started spiraling out of control. this good boy who never got into fights, cussed, drank or smoked was getting arrested left and right. He was a dancer and just wanted to make it! 

He was leading the same life she was drugs alcohol disrespecting are parents i mean the things that would come out of his mouth were thing i heard her say to her mother so i knew where it was coming from. only thing he would talk about was her and killing himself.

we would build him back up and he would be great for months. Then she would come around and he would have scary lows. They way he acted towards me was that of a stranger. I started to hate this girl i feel absolutely nothing for her. Now her and my little brother have a child that i just can't get my self to feel anything for. I avoid and barley speak to my brother. when we do speak it's forced and i have to fake laugh, smile it takes a real tole on a person. 

 I have no feeling left it seems like i'm over reacting but a lot happened. My Christian parents are the forgive and forget type. Always comparing me to her, Now i'm getting heat for not being  affectionate towards them or anyone. I'm cold  i'm deemed this bad person now and its foreign place to me.  Am i really wrong ?