Thursday, November 4, 2010

letting go of my frustration

Im not angry anymore. I don't cry like I used to. I randomly have flashes of it there not current like they used to. My parents say I should forgive and forget. Those words hurt me more then my experience. They welcome my destruction with open arms but I refuse to fall to my knees. I hear her voice the same way I heard it that night. I feel the same way I did that night. Numb from the drug of my tormentors. Mocking me with her voice full of happy I feel the pain of my violation and the neglect from my parents. Forgiving I will never do. forgetting I would be stupid to. Trust doesn't come easy now. I will never let my gourd down.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

a little of me

i've been wanting to start a blog for a while now to motivate myself and others to vent and help others to. maybe im not actually talking to anybody and im just writing myself Lol but that's okay because every word i let go makes me feel like i just took another step on a path to fully find myself and become who i wanna be as one woman making a dent in this big world . i love to laugh (really loud) Lol do whatever pops into my head that seems fun at the moment if its a mistake i will know after i've made it (live and learn you know) see something i want and getting it even if i have to plan and work for im a nice person never rude without warranty its impossible to make me angry i guess i have a high level of maturity or it could be that i don't pay attention to what a lot of people say or people for that matter i don't follow trends i like to do what i want maybe im a rebel Lol